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Joke of the Day

"[music club] what should we play today [hand goes up] yes joe? ""banjo"" all those who wanna ban joe raise their hand [everyones hand goes up]"

"A Man was Fishing in the Jungle After a while another angler came to join him. ""Have you had any bites?"" asked the second man. ""Yes, lots,"" replied the first one, ""but they were all mosquitoes."""

"A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ""Pint please, and one for the road."" "

"My father once told me... .... to go outside and jump on a trampoline... except I didn't hear the 'oline'"

"I can't remember a time I wasn't waiting for my next meal to start"

"What the difference between jews and harry potter Harry got out of the chamber alive"

"What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor"

"What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body? Rigatoni!"

"What do you call a British circle jerk? A Union Jack."

"Me: How's it look? Doc: You have 2 months to live M: WHAT?? You're my dentist! D: Then you don't need to come back for a cleaning in 6 mos"