81998

Joke of the Day

"Sources say Amazon to invest in maternity wards in hopes of expanding their delivery services."

"""IT'S NOT A RACE, YOU GUYS!"" i yell from 6th place"

"Just said ""No you can't have an apple because you'll spoil the pizza that's being delivered very soon."" I shouldn't be allowed to parent."

"Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars? Because it had their Curiosity."

"Jealousy is something you're good at when you think you suck at everything."

"My better half said period jokes aren't clever So I wound up discarding 3 pages of jokes i had expounded on the Victorian period."

"What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and is on fire? Bernie."

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it forgets to use a condom"

"My favorite sex position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger."

"Why cant witches get pregnant? Because ghosts have hollow-weenies! Happy halloween :)"