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Joke of the Day

"What is the creature that walks on four legs in the morning, three legs at noon and two in the evening? A cat in a minefield."

"You think you've got problems?I dropped my cocaine in the snow this morning."

"Spiderman ruined romance for me. Please don't even think of kissing me unless you're hanging upside down from a building."

"I asked my girlfriend if she could wake me up with oral sex. I woke up to her sitting on my face."

"Every time I pour a round of drinks, it goes all over the place. I think I need glasses."

"I bet the ""YMCA"" dance is harder to do in different languages."

"North-Korean food I made North korean food for my GF. She said pizza isn't North korean. I said Shut up and eat it."

"People call me ""big"", ""dumb"", and ""stupid"", which confuses me because I'm actually not very big"

"I recently switched over to cinnamon flavored toothpaste so when I do brush my teeth, I can't tell how much my gums are bleeding."

"Massive US blizzard advancing north. African American community complains about exclusion of black snowflakes."