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Joke of the Day

"I scream, you scream, we all scream... The ice cream man kidnapped us; please send help."

"Press 'B' really fast after asking a girl out on a date to increase your chances of catching her"

"Me: OMG I feel amazing! WebMD: sounds like cancer!"

"How do you know when you're too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener"

"What is the most popular novel in Mexico? Tequila mocking bird"

"What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"We are the sand. The wind will blow us. The ocean will beat us. Life is a beach."

"I just pimped my car. Now it has extra whorespower."

"Did you hear about the misanthropic statistician? 100% of people can go fuck themselves. Told to me by a cab driver in New Orleans."

"What did one orphan say to another? Get in the Batmobile Robin."