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Joke of the Day

"I'm in the hospital with meningitis, so here's a joke on the back of my tiny $10.00 juice box : what kind of shoes are made from bananas? Slippers."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him."

"How is a Christmas tree like a man who's had a vasectomy? They both have ornamental balls."

"[texting] ex: your friends were looking at me really strange at the game. me: yeah well I told them you died in a hot air balloon accident."

"Why did the kids get in trouble for eating the sausages? They were brats"

"The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it's like excuse me, I'm working here."

"H: Well, the remote was definitely broken, so I went and bought a new one. Me: H: Oh, and it came with this 75"" television."

"Teacher: This note from your father looks like your handwriting ? Pupil: Well yes he borrowed my pen !"

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an Oscar? He was out standing in his field."

"Have you ever heard of the mexican train killer? He had loco motives"