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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying she's fat...... But if you asked me to name my 5 fattest friends.... She would be 3 of them."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam you cant jelly yo dick in a bitch's ass"

"My girlfriend and I watched the Star Wars movies back to back last night; I'm so glad I was the one facing the TV. (Huehuehue ... but seriously, she would just be on her damn phone haha)"

"Charlie Sheen recently came out of the clinic That's what happens when you share tigers with Siegfried and Roy"

"If you build a person a fire, they'll be warm for a day. Set them on fire & they'll never worry about being warm again."

"Dance like no one is watching you while secretly videotaping to later be posted on YouTube so you become the latest worldwide laughing stock"

"Why don't Mexicans cross the border in three's? The sign says ""no trespassing."""

"Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon."

"Messy people must see reality shows differently They must see shows like ""hoarders"" as people with a bunch of cool stuff and douche bags throwing it away"

"FIRST MONSTER: I'm going to a party tonight. SECOND MONSTER: Oh are you? FIRST MONSTER: Yes I must go to the graveyard and dig out a few old friends."