89674

Joke of the Day

"My wife said, ""You always blame everyone else when things go wrong"" I said..""And whose fault is that?"""

"Did you hear about the chronic binger who was allergic to his food? He bit off more than he *katchoo!*"

"the past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense..."

"Where do cats go once they have used up all nine of their lives? Purrgatory."

"I hate when someone makes the comment ""he says what we're all thinking"" when he obviously said nothing about sexy lesbians."

"I carry a knife whenever I'm running late to work because that's what Counterstrike taught me: ""You always run faster with a knife""."

"Don't talk shit about someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats."

"""If you have a ministry like Jesus it will probably be made up of about 12 people who don't get your illustrations, & 1 wants to kill you."""

"Shoutout to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets."