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Joke of the Day

"What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? RAWR!"

"The doctor had to remove my fungal infection. It's a shame. It was really starting to grow on me."

"Celebrating Memorial Day by not romanticizing the military."

"I got arrested today I got arrest today, apparently you aren't allowed to do doughnuts within 200ft of a school zone... the frosting worked as great lubricant though"

"May he without sin cast the first stone [Everybody picks up rocks] Sharing Netflix passwords counts as sin [Everybody puts rocks back down]"

"Just texted ""I love you"" to about 40 phone numbers I made up."

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number.. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"What do you call a black Roy Rogers. Leroy Rogers."

"Ask a lawyer what 2 + 2 is... Ask a lawyer what 2+2 is he'll say 5 Ask an engineer and he'll say 4 Ask an accountant and he'll look right back at you and say ""what do you want"""

"How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know, they're all too busy complaining about this joke."