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Joke of the Day

"I've spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she's a woodpecker."

"I'd like to thank my gps for making me feel like the star of an action movie every time it waits too long to tell me where to turn."

"Yesterday was international women's equality day and international dog day What a great day for bitches"

"Why do Jews have big noses? cuz air is free"

"My grandmother is like a fine wine that grows more racist with every year."

"Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a Six offender."

"Moves shopping cart to allow car to park Lady doesn't even say thanks Puts cart back behind her car Leaves."

"A programmer's wife asks him to pick up a loaf of bread and, if they have eggs, get a dozen. The programmer comes home with a dozen loaves of bread."

"Snitching is common in Thompkins Square Park It's full of rats"

"How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They glow in the dark."