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Joke of the Day

"Santa is always jolly, he knows where the naughty girls live."

"Instead of saying a package is Family Size, it'd be more helpful if it listed a time frame, like 3 Hours Worth of Cookies."

"What happened to the embarrassed bungalow on the street of two story houses? It got stares."

"TV repair man..."

"THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes."

"A gay and a lesbian are going to the airport. Who gets there first? The lesbian. She got there lickity split while the gay guy was still packing his shit."

"""Arise! Arise! Foul creatures, I command that you arise! ARISE!"" ""Dad, just once, couldn't you let mom or the alarm clock wake us?"" ""ARISE!"""

"Nursing Problems As a Nurse, its my job to have patients - Oh the irony in how the 'patients' have absolutely no patience for me. My job is to save your ass..(colonoscopy etc.) Not Kiss It. :D"

"I don't date married men. I mean I wouldn't call it dating..."

"Yo Mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone"