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Joke of the Day

"A woman came in for a job interview wearing an abacus on her head. I hired her right on the spot. It's so hard to find employees who you can count on."

"My diet this week consisted of 6 cheat days"

"Not to play the martyr, but I feel like the thousands of fruit flies in my kitchen should be more appreciative for all I have given them."

"Gloryholes are like restaurants. The best ones are just holes in the walls."

"I tried eating a whole llama once. I couldn't finish it, so I figured ""Eh, alpaca lunch for tomorrow."""

"""It doesn't say anywhere that you have to EAT them, you see,"" I explain to the Olive Garden waitress as my breadstick kingdom adds a library"

"Q: How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: ""Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"""

"US has serious problem with illegal immigrants. If you don't believe me ask any Native American."

"Bad grammar is my biggest pet peeve Their is nothing else than pisses me off more then seeing people use it."

"there are some really great cocktails you can have when it gets cold. Gin and coffee, gin and hot water, microwaved gin, go nuts"