81608

Joke of the Day

"As a Brandon, I'm constantly at war with Brendans. Do not confuse them with my kind. They are shit demons. Slaying them is my birthright."

"Asked God his thoughts on assuming genders, his reply... ""Hmmm, I guess I should have made it more obvious"""

"Could you Christian rock singers please invest in a thesaurus. I think God is fully aware by now that you think he is ""great"" and ""awesome."""

"When one squirrel says ""I like to eat nuts"", there is probably always another squirrel who says ""that's what she said."""

"First rule of flight club...no penguins."

"'Tis the season to pull copious amounts of tinsel out of your dog's butthole."

"Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery."

"Remember when we cried as kids and our parents said, ""I'll give you something to cry about"" We thought they were going to hit us but instead they destroyed the housing market."

"How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Poker face."

"Why are volcanoes mischievous? Because they erupt to no good."