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Joke of the Day
"Why doesn't Saran Wrap have any friends? Because it sticks to itself."
Next Joke
"I'm going to get a sleeve tattoo of a farmers tan."
"Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant? Because he was cold and calculating."
"Where can I get sweatpants that say ""ANXIETY"" on the ass?"
"if ur sad abowt not havin an valentien on valentienz day remembr dat sum ppl do'nt hav an patrik on st patriks day"
"Double standards are the worst. I mean, if a girl sleeps with lots of guys, she's considered a slut. But when a guy does it, he's considered a homosexual."
"What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one? Urine charge now."
"if your religion infringes on people's rights; sorry, you've had hundreds of years to change everyone's mind- obviously that hasn't happened"
"Hey grocery store cashiers that try to guess what we're going to cook- Shut up."
"Wife: ""I think I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""