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Joke of the Day

"Where can I get sweatpants that say ""ANXIETY"" on the ass?"

"""The club can't even handle me right now."" What, like structurally? Should we call an engineer? Evacuate? Please advise."

"Grammer nazis are the worse. Thank you four you're time."

"Why do you look out the window in the morning? Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway."

"A Kiss can make my whole day... But anal could make my hole weak"

"Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"

"17 yo didn't do chores last night. I delete all songs on iPod and replace them with the theme song to Scooby Doo. Enjoy the bus to school."

"Do you know why ants are so healthy? Because they have little antibodies..."

"Why doesn't the Easter Bunny make noise when he has sex? Because he has cotton balls!"

"First rule of tortilla fight club- You don't talk about the taco bout"