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Joke of the Day

"A wizard walks in to a gay bar.. And disappears with a poof!"

"How do you make a snooker table laugh? Put your hands in its pockets & tickle its balls."

"[funeral] WIDOW: ii just cant believe he's gone ME: hey [putting my hand on her shoulder] u parked ur car directly behind mine so im stuck"

"""The plane nosedived and crashed, due to a passenger's iPod being played during landing."" - No flight, ever."

"Daughter is acting so rude I'm not sure she's even mine. Think my wife may have cheated on me with YouTube's comments section."

"HA! [That's close enough.](http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/internet-explorer/downloads/ie-9/worldwide-languages)"

"So I applied for a random volunteer job at my church I really hope I get the missionary position"

"Did you hear the Zodiac is turning himself in? He didn't appreciate the comparisons to Ted Cruz."

"My teacher was gone today on strike... How rude, she has no class!"

"Doc, I've got a problem... ...every morning at 8 sharp i poop... Doc: How is that a problem? Guy: ...I wake up at 9..."