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Joke of the Day

"Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!"

"[begin metajoke] What did the drunk Chinese customer say to the bartender? No have to cut me off. Fall off barstool by myself. [end metajoke]"

"Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!"

"What is a cat's favorite tropical destination? Meowi"

"I don't know, Your Honor. Last thing I remember was the Polaroid picture crying and I was shaking it like a baby andIT WOULDN'T STOP CRYING!"

"Did you hear about the Kidnapping? Don't worry, he woke up"

"What do I and Ronda Rousey have in common? neither of us can last more than a minute :("

"Why did the feminist cross the road To suck my dick."

"Why was Noah a great businessman? He floated his stock while everyone else was in liquidation."

"Why did Sally Fall off the swing? [kind of rude] Because she has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally."