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Joke of the Day

"why did the chicken cross the road 69 ahhahaaha"

"Why should trees never sign birthday cards? Because they're always so *Sappy*!"

"Whats the difference between a regular horse and a police horse? The police horse has an extra asshole on its back. :>"

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? apparently not 3, because my basement is still dark."

"Q: How do cats buy things? - A: From a cat-alogue!"

"17: If I was gay would you still love me? Me: Of course. 17: If I committed crimes? Me: Yes. 17: If I voted for Trump- Me: Dead to me."

"Gary Johnson withdraws from the Libertarian Ticket. Replaced by Harambe. That's right. Johnsons out for Harambe!"

"How was it possible that the three bears had porridge all at different temperatures? Someone is lying."

"Molestation, mo'problems"