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Joke of the Day

"I want to tattoo ""platform 9 and 3/4"" over my ass 'cause you wouldn't think you'd get in there but you can Edit:words"

"What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam"

"What do a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common? Always have to smell it, never get to eat it."

"Dirty skanks are not prime mates"

"What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common? They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.) ***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version."

"*Walks into school* Simon says give me your Pokemon cards Ok now close your eyes *Walks out* Kids are so dumb I didn't even say Simon says"

"When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?"

"What is the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades"

"There's no b,c,d,f,g,h,j,k,l,n,o,p,q,r,s,u,v,w,x,y, or z in team either."

"What do you call nudes from the 90s hot mail"