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Joke of the Day

"Movember just reminds me that i inherited the inability to grow proper facial hair from my father... why couldn't i be more like my mom?"

"Confucius say man who run in front of car... ...get tired."

"2 plants are hanging out One says to the other, "" you hungry?"" To which the other replies, ""yes, I could go for a light snack."""

"The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one"

"Thinking of cryogenically freezing myself until they can find a cure for unemployment."

"Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There's liquor and you can't hear them."

"I can still party like I'm 22. Too bad I recover like I'm 82."

"Since we have several people participating in the debate tonight... Would it be considered a mass debate?"

"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the trick is finding two people small enough to fit IN the lightbulb..."

"Naming my favorite books is like choosing which of my kids I love more! In that I have a full list right here, do you have a pencil ready"