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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between and elephant and a mail box? I don't know. I hope you're not allowed to take the mail out to the mail box."

"Who is Jason Waterfalls? And why don't they want him to go?"

"What do you call a Polish fisherman? A fishing pole."

"When people tell me I look like my mother, I assume they mean disappointed."

"[chicken buying a car] Salesman: Hop on in! You're gonna love these bucket seats. Chicken: OH GOD"

"A kiss begins with K. But it's also just a text from someone who doesn't want to have a conversation with you."

"New York City is the only place where sound travels faster than light. I always hear the horn before the light turns green."

"Why don't they sell aspirin in the rainforest? Because it would be economically unviable to market a pharmaceutical in such a vastly unpopulated area."

"I'm more of a Coca-Cola person... soda speak."

"I've been trying to figure out why I overslept today. Just realized drunk me set my calculator for $7.30."