80847
Joke of the Day
"what do you give to the god of shit? Sacrifeces"
Next Joke
"inspired by the recent election, i'm going to run for president the first step will be to change my name to ""none of the above""."
"When I die, I want to die like my Grandpa, in his sleep Not like his passengers, screaming in pain"
"That ""dammit"" moment when you forget to take your phone to the toilet so you just sit there like ""Now what do I do...?"""
"There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down."
"You think you got problems I just mixed a box of regular spaghetti with a box of thin spaghetti Supper is ruined I tell you"
"Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies."
"[donating blood] Me [feeling lightheaded]: I'm gonna need that back"
"Sleeping guy on the bus has a laughably obvious boner. And now he's waking up. And now he's tweeting about it."
"Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None the sockets go with the house."