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Joke of the Day

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ""Where's my tractor?"

"Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party? He heard they were having upside-down cake!"

"I wanted to thank you personally for the like. That's why I'm in your house."

"Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair? Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt."

"Somebody told me to stop singing ""Wonderwall."" I said maybe"

"You'll know when it hits 0 degrees because all the Canadians will be wearing shorts, playing frisbee and BBQing outside."

"I hope that when the zombies finally do come, they're all dyslexic and they only go after Brians."

"Did you hear about the pig who tried to start a hot-air balloon business? He couldn't get it off the ground. ."

"I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won. I replied, ""Yeah, man, you're free."""

"I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU ARE EVIL. I don't want to go in the swing!! NOOOOooooo.... okay. yeah. This works. I'll hang here. - Baby"