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Joke of the Day

"How did the Machine Learning professor pick which of his undergrads to have sex with? He used a Naive Babe Classifier. ... Sorry for the nerd joke; I'll show myself out."

"Queer Irishman Sean: Did ya here the one about the queer Irishman? Brian: No. Sean: Seems he was spotted leaving the pub at 11 o'clock with a girl. Brian: So? Sean: Closing time's one."

"Who did the baker bring to work? His doughter."

"How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal."

"SMS from my girl: If ur sleeping, send me ur dreams; if ur laughing, send me ur smile; if ur crying, send me ur tears. Response: Honey I'm shitting, should I send you something?"

"My youngest brother told me this one, he laughed for hours afterwards. What's worse than being a butt-half? Being a butt-whole!"

"When God closes a door, it usually has my fingers in it."

"What is Santa's favorite band? Slayer."

"And the Lord said unto John ""come fourth, and ye shall have eternal life."" John came in 5th, and won a toaster."

"A German man and his son walk into a bar... A German man and his son walk into a bar. The man points to his son and says ""Ein Bier bitte"". Bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve your Kind here""."