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Joke of the Day

"I'm all out of damns to give, and only have a few flying f*cks left... but I'm saving those for a special occasion."

"Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder."

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you *IN* the bathroom? European."

"A really twisted joke What do Ted Bundy and the Space Shuttle Colombia have in common? They both left bodies in four states."

"When I was at school, the school bully used to make me rub my head against a giant piece of sandpaper. I was no match for him."

"My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, And they're like ""It wasn't that hard."""

"Leonardo's Solution to ""The Da Vinci Code"" ""Sibble. Stay id bed, dreeg pluddy ub fludes, taig eggstra Zinc ed Vidabid-C."""

"Silence is golden but duct tape is silver."

"Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together "

"YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u"