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Joke of the Day

"I'm all out of damns to give, and only have a few flying f*cks left... but I'm saving those for a special occasion."

"I'm going skiing in Colorado. They say there are a lot of blacks there. But there are a lot of blues and greens as well, so I should be okay."

"Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley... one was a-salted"

"Cottonballs is a great example of something I would buy but not want as a nickname. Cinnamon buns, however... Credit Dymitri Martin."

"Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they have great hangtime."

"anyone who puts that dumb ass Gotye song on when im with them instantly becomes somebody that i used to know."

"What happened to Wendy from Wendy's? ""The Baconator"""

"You're a Carrot I wish, I'd be easier on the eyes."

"If a lobsters come in on lobster boats, and clams come in on clam boats, what do crabs come in on? The captain's dinghy."

"I bet unscary monsters like to hang out at the back of marathons and imagine all the athletes are running from them."