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Joke of the Day

"A Girl once asked me how I view Lesbian relationships... I told her ""In HD"". Apparently that was not the right answer"

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"I removed electrons from a seal Got a seal-ion"
"So Aliens Arrive ""Earth has a species with advanced warfare, they seem intelligent."" ""No, they have it aimed at themselves."""
"Save yourself from a sexual harassment case. If a fellow employee asks, ""Do you know a place I can get Off?"". They may just need some bug spray."
"Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says ""I've lost my electron."" The other says ""Are you sure?"" The first replies ""Yes, I'm positive."""
"A man walks into a grocery store. Asks for a pound of tomatoes. The grocer says, ""we call them kilos over here."" The man replies ""fine, a pound of kilos then."""
"Why did the arborist plant new pine trees on their front lawn? To spruce things up a bit."
"What has 125 teeth and prevents a savage beast from escaping? My zipper."
"As a child, 'The Jetsons' gave me unrealistic expectations for the future: like having a wife who loves me & owning a dog."
"Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft? The Carpet store"