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Joke of the Day
"Redditors of Mississippi. Tell me how do you feel abou- Oh wait, you can't read."
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"Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout."
"Why did the condom fly across the room? It got pissed off."
"What country most despises cars that run on gasoline? Mad-at-gas-cars!"
"The embarrassment when you wake up to find your panties hanging from a chandelier and think, how did I end up in a place with a chandelier?"
"My wife is such a terrible cook... We say grace after we're done eating."
"I like my women like I like my coffee.... All over my lap while I'm driving"
"After watching Honey Boo Boo, I realize America has much bigger problems than the national debt."
"I'd like my headstone engraved in Burger King font."
"What's the opposite of Tim Walken? Tim Daly."