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Joke of the Day

"I was a pizza delivery guy once, but only for a day. They gave me 12 pizzas to deliver and I just never came back."

"I don't want Hillary to become the first f president. Whoops, meant to say female but the ""emale"" got deleted!"

"Sometimes on a clear cool night I look at the stars for hours and wonder what cool things I'd be doing if my Internet weren't down."

"""Oh, this old thing?"" - my cat showing me his butt hole"

"A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar... the bartender says 'hey, Mitt.'"

"Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison? A: Shoot one."

"What's a neckbeard's favorite pokemon? M'champ"

"when the lady in the elevator burst into tears I did the only thing a man could do in the situation. I fell to the floor and played dead."

"What did the Latin guy say after he had sex? Veni. Veni. Veni."

"A zombie apocalypse will be the only time you'll hear me say 'please don't eat me' ......aaaand send"