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Joke of the Day

"Russian joke A bear is walking through the forest when he sees a car on fire. The bear gets into it and burns to death."

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear."

"Q: how many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN!!! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!!!!!"

"Even paranoids have enemies."

"Saw Interstellar over the weekend & was totally glued to my seat. The movie was OK but the getting-glued-to-my-seat thing ruined it for me."

"What room is a ghost scared of? The living room( haha get it?)"

"Wow. Girl 1) Isn't that illegal? Girl 2) Yeah, so is prostitution but I didn't stop your mom. Girl 1) You don't know my mom. Girl 2) Neither did your dad."

"I invented a new sexual position called ""The Republican"" where I screw poor people."

"What did Descartes say while shopping online? I think therefore I Amazon"

"Why periods? Why can't mother nature just tweet me and be like ""Waddup girl. You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to you next month"""