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Joke of the Day

"Whats the world weakest animal ? A toad he croaks if you even touch him !"

"""Get a womb!"" - me when I see two babies making out."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To have sex with your mom."

"[creepy mansion] ME: That portrait is watching us MAN: No way ME: [goes right up to portrait] I'm vegan PORTRAIT: [rolls eyes] ME: I knew it"

"A report found 9 out of 10 bishops write with a fountain pen. Only God knows what the other one does with it."

"What happens if I put a vial in another vial and then in another vial? It doesn't matter."

"A history joke Teacher: When was Rome built? Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that? Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!"

"The coolest thing about the last Hobbit movie was knowing it was the last Hobbit movie."

"What happens when you give Sigmund Freud and Oedipus a bunch of cocaine? A mother fucking awesome party."

"Where do sick boats go to? The dock."