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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you give Sigmund Freud and Oedipus a bunch of cocaine? A mother fucking awesome party."

"Growing up in a household dominated by females, you learn: 1. The importance of listening 2. 101 euphemisms for ""the monthly visitor"""

"The definition of Rodeo Sex - When you accidentally call your partner by the wrong first name..... Then try and stay on for 8 seconds."

"Why is Waldo always wearing striped clothing? because he doesn't want to be spotted"

"Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because of the holes in his hands."

"It's always an ungodly hour for atheists."

"5-year-old: Why is there a baseball bat under your bed? Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball?"

"I've started up a chip shop in Auschwitz. I called it ""Arbeit Macht Fries""."

"Getting married for sex... is like flying on an airplane for food."

"Where was the first chicken fried? In Greece."