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Joke of the Day

"Hillary and Bernie are on a boat Hillary and Bernie Sanders are on a boat. It's sinking. Who survives? America survives"

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!!"

"Him: ...and I asked you out because you're smart and pret-WHY ARE YOU POKING ME WITH A STICK? Me: To see if you're real or if I'm just high"

"What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? Coach."

"What's red and green and wears boxing gloves? A fruit punch."

"What was the name of the hobbit who went to get frozen yoghurt? Froyo Baggins."

"What do Indians live in? Poverty. :("

"I'm really bad at portioning uncooked pasta...so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over, dinner is ready."

"The other day, a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester."

"My wife always accuses me of having a favourite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally."