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Joke of the Day

"I'm taking my niece and nephew to the corn maze today. If I can't lose them there, I'll try the mall again."

"Why don't you go down on a girl first thing in the morning? Haven't you ever peeled apart a hot grilled cheese sandwich?"

"My dad's never been proud of me The other day he asked how old I was, I said ""twenty-one"". ""When I was your age I was twenty-two"" he replied."

"How do farmers party? They turnip the beets!"

"What do you call somebody who's attracted to vagrants? A hobosexual."

"What did the unimpressed cheese say? Que... so?"

"Went to get coffee for a coworker. I effed up the order, but used it as a teaching opportunity to illustrate the dangers of outsourcing."

"Moby-Dick is cool if you like stopping in the middle of a story about murdering a smart whale to think about all the different kinds of rope"

"Chuck Norris' chest hair has chest hair."

"If these seasonal allergies don't kill me, that person I just sneezed all over probably will."