8009

Joke of the Day

"Music is a good place to hide."

"I know lawyers aren't people. They stand in court all day and say ""I object"""

"Recent Studies... Recent studies show that 4 out of 5 blondes are blonde"

"Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive? I just did and I won't be allowed on this airline again"

"Try and tell me about your cleanse and I will whip out my pocket bacon and eat it right in front of you."

"Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds."

"Did you hear about my time machine? I sold it next week"

"I just heard ""on avarage, there are 7 people in the world that look similar to you"" omg bless you all, I hope you're all okay, I'm so sorry"

"My wife told me I should go to the gym with her to get in shape, but I suggested I just start with skipping. So far I've skipped the gym three times this week and I feel great."

"BOSS: I set up a Suggestion Box. Please don't hesitate to- ME: [staring directly at boss while slowly stuffing cream cheese bagel into box]"