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Joke of the Day

"A woman was looking in the mirror... And she says to her husband ""I look fat. Give me a compliment."" The husband replies "" Your vision is perfect."""

"Neuroscientists have discovered a commonly-consumed food which nearly eliminates the female sex drive. Wedding cake."

"So a waitress pours coffee on a mans hat He says, ""I'll send you the bill."""

"What is E.T. short for? So he can fit on a spaceship."

"A reboot of Dexter, but this time he stalks and kills people who crunch their disposable water bottles as they drink."

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

"This week in Science: MRI technology and thought processing... are a hell of a lot cooler than last week"

"Like most people my age, I'm 23. ."

"Why did the Mexican food go to counseling? He wanted to taco bout his problems"

"There is a place with a 98% recycling rate! r/Jokes"