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Joke of the Day

"It's interesting how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone."

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"This Valentine's Day I'm single by choice Just not my choice"
"Kim Kardashin flour bombing incident Police called off the search for the person who flower bombed Kim Kardashin. They learned it was just Lindsey Lohan sneezing"
"Doing my weekly Anti-virus scan, my laptop is a slut."
"Playing that 'Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?' song on your iPhone, full blast while entering a public toilet stall, feels pretty good."
"[OC] What is Hillary Clinton's favorite video game? Super-Pac man."
"I had a best friend who wore a gorilla suit everywhere... he was my prime-mate."
"I don't have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites."
"This cat poop tastes like I'm about to get yelled at. -- Dogs"
"I came home to find my best friend fucking my girlfriend Bad dog, you know you're not allowed on the furniture."