79947

Joke of the Day

"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth."

"Where can you get away with rape? Any school for the deaf"

"Why didn't the Mexican go now hunting? Because he didn't habanero."

"How to build a nested list 1) Start like this A) Then do this Bird: I live here now 2) Make sure to get the bird out Bird: NO"

"Why being gay is a serious issue? Because men are fucking asshole"

"So cats CAN'T fend for themselves for 4 weeks after all. Even though I left mini frozen pizzas, cash for emergencies and my mobile number."

"PEOPLE OF THE PLANE LISTEN TO ME WHEN THE SEATBELT LIGHT GOES OFF STAND UP IMMEDIATELY OR YOUR SPOT IN THE NON-MOVING LINE WON'T BE ASSURED"

"""Time heals all wounds ;)"" - Rattlesnakes"

"My wife's a magician. She can turn anything into an argument."

"[Drug deal] How do I know you're not a cop -If I was a cop would I do this? *Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is"