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Joke of the Day

"As I basted the turkey, I swear I heard it say ""just not in my hair"""

"CLICKBAIT JOKE THAT WILL MAKE YOU SAY ""Why is it deleted?"" [Deleted]"

"Did you hear Bruce Willis tried to overdose on viagra? He wanted to Die Hard."

"What you call a penis that doesn't satisfy a woman? Yours"

"The cops said 911 was for emegencies only and not for me to report suspicious looking clouds."

"Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship... Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship; both of them are drowning. Who gets saved?!? The answer: AMERICA!!!"

"The chicken I just ate wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up."

"Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells for a bra? Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!"

"Jack LaLanne died two years ago and he's still in better shape than I am."

"I don't get why people are racist... We were all white at SOME point."