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Joke of the Day

"This guy came up to me and said he needed a glass of water but his pants were on fire so, he probably was lying about needing it."

"Why should you always invite mushrooms to your parties? They're fun guys!"

"I thinks it cool when X girlfriend becomes XL girldfriend."

"My girlfriend and I were having sex so loud we woke up the whole house. My wife was furious."

"Vincent van Gogh called... He wants his ear back... so that he can hear you on the telephone."

"What does the DJ do when he spills acid? He drops the base!"

"Why did the lead singer of Drowning Pool lose his job at Starbucks? HE LET BISCOTTI HIT THE FLOOR"

"Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!"

"Why are DJ's called 'radio personalities' ? Because if they had the looks they'd be on TV."

"I bought crappy music for 5 cents today, but the guy ripped me off. As he ran off, I yelled ""Hey, I want my nickel back!"""