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Joke of the Day

"The Pope is sick. Apparently the Pope resigned because he was sick with bird flu. He got it from a Cardinal."

"why do we park in the driveway but fetishize an impossible and ridiculous masculinity on the hemingway"

"I don't want a boyfriend. Just someone to call me beautiful, love me right, and fix the clogged drain in my bathtub. Mostly the drain thing."

"What's the best thing about twenty three year old's? [They're of age.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZg3-Y1QIc4)"

"Whats the fastest way to a women's heart? A Knife"

"""My night's about to get better now that you're turned on."" ... said the student to his printer when he finished his essay."

"Took my 3 year old to a lot of historic sites and whale watching today. Asked what her favourite part was and she said, ""The M&M's""."

"I shot my first turkey today... ..It sure scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen food section"

"The Nationwide commercial didn't make me feel anything but I once dropped my chicken nuggets and cried for an hour and forty minutes."

"I'd like to apologize to the lady on the bus. I assumed you wanted your hair held back while you ate your banana."