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Joke of the Day

"If you don't have a dog whistle, you can use two teenage girls who have not seen each other in forever."

Next Joke
 
"The gardener asked me what I wanted him to do, I told him to water the plants... He points and asks ""water these?"", I said ""nah man, *pointing* WATER THOSE""."
"I'm either tired or hungry at all times. Often both."
"Why monkeys make terrible drivers: bad depth perception, suffer from road rage & fling poop at other drivers."
"[confessional] me: father, gooey naan. father: what's gooey naan? me: nothing much. what's goin' on with you?"
"Vaccination awareness is rising Last night I saw a young man vaccinate himself behind a dumpster"
"Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it"
"Why couldn't the Soviet Union get anything done? They were always either Russian or Stalin."
"What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass? Mechanic."
"Q: Why did the comedian do time? A: Is it cause his jokes killed? (Nope, one in ten dead)"