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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He tried to work it out with a slide rule."

"How come sneezes get a ""God Bless You"" but coughs get a cold unflinching silence?"

"This entire pizza told me thigh gaps are for queers."

"Heartbeats away from president When you're a Vice President people say you're a heartbeat away from president. But really, it's a failed heartbeat away from president"

"They're a pack of lions He's some guy who hates lions Together, they're: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE This fall on CBS"

"Enter promo code INTERMINABLE SINCERITY for some free sarcasm."

"What did the moderator say to the redditor? [Deleted]"

"If at first you don't succeed tell yourself a litany of excuses then numb yourself with Oreo blizzards."

"Why did the snowman have a smile on his face? Because the snowblower was coming down the block."

"Submarines are just hipster boats."