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Joke of the Day

"HONEST JOE'S DISCOUNT BREAST IMPLANT EMPORIUM. WHY PAY $6,000 FOR SILICON WHEN YOU CAN PAY $20 FOR WOOD"

"Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly: ""I was artificially inseminated this morning."" ""I don't believe you,"" replies Dolly. ""It's true, no bull!"""

"Why would Helen Keller be a horrible driver? Because she's dead."

"Longest verb What's the longest verb in the English language? Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter."

"How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun? Planet"

"Nine out of ten men prefer women with big breasts... the tenth man prefers the other nine."

"You know what bothers me? When people assume you're homeless cause you're asleep on the street and your pants are gone.."

"I'm not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to shit indoors."

"If our feet had mouths then they'd be walkie talkies."

"Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic? Because everything that stays there just ends up dying."