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Joke of the Day

"Thanks a lot bathroom doors with the gender written in weird symbols. I just want to pee, not solve a sudoku puzzle."

"How much do flying broomsticks cost at Hogwarts? Quid each."

"How did Hitler lose weight quickly ? Juice cleanse."

"When your kid makes a funny face, say they will stick that way, then show them the thousands of girls with duck lips on Instagram."

"What's the biggest lie of the election? Voting machines aren't hackable."

"What do you call a phobia of machetes? Common sense"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her pussy? Only 20% of the things that came out of her pussy were retarded. /r/imgoingtohellforthis ?"

"The secret to juggling chainsaws is making sure people don't see your lips move when you make the chainsaw sounds."

"What do Harry Potter and Kermit The Frog's penis have in common? Hogwarts"

"If two vegetarians are fighting... Is it still considered ""beef""?"