7790

Joke of the Day

"I want to die quietly in my sleep like my grandad did. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"Q: Why were screams coming from the kitchen? A: The cook was beating the eggs."

"[pitch meeting] Okay so it's a ton of dogs. Dalmatians. 100 of 'em. I call it ""100 Dalmatians."" [idea man pipes in] Let's think bigger"

"How do you know when a politician is lying? Their mouth is moving."

"I only drink out of jugs labelled XXX and I carry my money in a big sack with a dollar sign on the side. Everyone thinks I'm cool as hell."

"Oh cool this dress has pockets to keep my snacks in"

"A little immature... Knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? No! You're a poo!"

"Dark humour is like food. Not everybody gets it."

"What do you call a Mexican that lives in Maine An L.L.Beaner"

"What do corals get stressed about? Current events."