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Joke of the Day
"Friends are like trees... Few swings with an axe and they fall down."
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"As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions."
"When cooking a turkey, Don't worry about seasoning it. It's a waste of thyme."
"Why doesn't anyone in [insert nations capital] use the toilet in the morning? So they have something to do at night."
"How do you tell two witches apart? You can't! You don't know which witch is which!"
"Philosophers have really good depth perception!"
"Me: God, I just feel so Brain: HUNGRY M: No, I'm very alone. I desperately want B: FOOD M: Part of me is missing. All I need is B: PRINGLES"
"What do you call a monkey holding a stick of dynamite? A Baboom!"
"Salary is like a period you wait for it a whole month and it ends in a week."
"Top three perverts that see you when you're sleeping: 1. Santa. 2. God. 3. NSA."