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Joke of the Day

"What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss? I literally cannot deal."

"What's worse than finding your first grey pubic hair...... ....finding it between your teeth."

"Dr: I need a urine and stool sample. Me: *hands him my underwear* Dr:...... Me: Its all there."

"Breathing heavily, she asked me what I can give her. Me: ""I'll give you a hint, it starts with a D"" Her: ""Oh yess, I can't wait!"" Me: ""That's right, get ready for some disappointment!"""

"Calculus should be taught in every high school around the world. It is such an integral field of math."

"You can't trust a mule with an important task. They'll just half-ass it."

"Didn't think my kid was ever going to sleep, earlier.You would've thought the cops were here,the way she was resisting a rest."

"My black friend asked me if there's a colored printer in the library... I said ""Shit man, it's 2016 you can use whatever printer you want!"""

"When a roofer works pro bono... It's on the house"

"What do you call a custard when it goes bad? Off-pudding."