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Joke of the Day

"What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss? I literally cannot deal."

"""Wish You Were Beer!"" Wait...no...that's right...send."

"How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub."

"What do you call a potato that's reluctant to try new things? A Hesi-tater"

"Why do Seagulls live by the Sea? If they didn't, they'd be Bagulls!"

"If you ever get arrested, lighten the mood by pretending to go for his gun."

"[landlord showing new tenant around] ""No smoking allowed"" ""How about pets?"" ""That's fine"" [dog walks in and lights up] ""We'll take it"""

"What's a cat's favorite color? Purrple."

"A boy sat on a train chewing gum and staring vacantly into space when suddenly an old woman sitting opposite said 'It's no good you talking to me young man I'm stone deaf !'"