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Joke of the Day

"I bought a time machine. I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don't make them like they're going to anymore."

Next Joke
 
"Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross."
"Yay! The Democrats won the World Series!"
"Can't they show a realistic anti-depressant commercial where the person spends all day on Twitter & they don't own any matching furniture"
"Why did the chicken cross the road?....To get to the idiots house. Knock knock....Who's there.....The Chicken"
"How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel."
"I set my phone to airplane mode I lost it two weeks ago and everyone has a different opinion on what happened to it"
"Why is divorce so expensive? Its worth it!"
"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it. (heard this somewhere)"
"I was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling my boxers off when... ...my wife said, ""You spoil those dogs."""
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