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Joke of the Day

"Quite the conundrum for us ass men... We cannot lie, but we must never trust a big butt and a smile. I'll see myself out now."

"Just crushed my son in an epic game of Monopoly. His tears flooded Baltic Avenue."

"I eat the broken cookies first because I feel bad for them."

"A group of dogs walk into a University. They approach the receptionist who says, ""Hi, can I help you?"" ""Yeah,"" one of the dogs reply, ""We wanna see our Masters."""

"What kind of dinosaur writes poetry? A Bronte-saurus."

"""PSST."" It came from my waffles. ""PSST,"" again. ""What?"" I ask, furtively. ""You look really nice today."" Complimentary Breakfast"

"When I draw a fish I always.... ... Draw it to scale"

"Why is Hillary Clinton running for President? Because it's easier than running from Law Enforcement"

"Why does Donald Trump secretly not want to become president? He'd have to move in to a smaller house in a black neighborhood."

"[standing in driveway with wife] I thought we agreed on a Prius [giant eagle pecks at saddle] NO THIS IS BETTER"