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Joke of the Day

"What's a nice way to tell someone that you don't want talk while you're working out? It's not ""Shut up, asshole."" Apparently."

"Health tip: There's never a 'safe' time to shake a teenage boy's hand. Never."

"If I were Zorro, I'd hand out business cards with a Z on them. That way I wouldn't have to take my sword everywhere."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cassie ! Cassie who ? Cassie the forest for the trees !"

"[if Lois Lane was a witness] Criminal: *puts on glasses* Lois Lane: I'm sorry, I've never seen this man before."

"You know I was thinking about not getting fat, But I really had a lot on my plate at the time.."

"I invented a new joke. Plagarism."

"What do you call a dog who loves to be dominated? A sub woofer. Thank you & God Bless"

"i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her he thinks we're growing up too fast ""they're in there daring each other to eat dog food"""

"Why did ISIS invade Antarctica? They saw a documentary about penguins and thought the continent was full of devout Islamic women."