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Joke of the Day

"""I just figured the 'H' was broken on your sign"" Nope, this is what I sell here. Now how many Doug nuts do you want?"

"How do you know women don't watch porn? They all end up on Back Room Casting Couch."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger just announced he's giving up the limelight to go back to his first love, pest control. He's an ex-terminator now."

"Sorry if this comes across as offensive... Two dyslexic men attempt to rob a train. One man shouts to the carriage ""Air in the hands motherstickers!"" The other man shouts ""This is a fuck up!"""

"What is Zack Morris's favorite type of word? A Preppysition"

"My 3 year old just got me with this one... 3 yo: Can I please have a mystery? Me: What is that? 3 yo: I don't know, it's a mystery (laughs hysterically)"

"Why did the computer cross the road? To get a byte to eat..."

"Q: Why was the musician arrested? A: He got in treble."

"Every woman should have four pets... A mink in her closet, a Jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed...and a Jackass to pay for all of it"

"Every day, I hope I don't get bitten by a spider. I'm not afraid of spiders, I just don't want the responsibility of being a superhero."